ASS KICKERS

Posted on February 1, 2009 at 2:04pm

After watching Taken, I couldn't help but think, "Why in the hell don't they make more movies like this?" This movie is so awesome! It's really hard to explain to people how good it is. The storyline is simple enough to fit the mold of an action film, but unique enough to keep you interested. The direction is "frenchy" enough to be interesting, but not too much of a departure from a popcorn flick. The action is jumpy and quick, but not nauseating like the Bourne series. But most importantly, the ship is lead by an Oscar winner who treats this cheesy action film the same way he would Schindler's List.

The film's premise is simple, "Liem Neeson as an ass kicker." And you know what? That's all it needs. So this lead to my original question, "Why don't they make more movies like this?" While they are few and far between, there are some out there.

So besides Taken, here are three of my favorite ass kicking movies.

CRANK: I can never give this film enough praise. From beginning to end, it's an A.D.D. hell ride where adreniline over powers substance and the screen presence of Jason Statham makes up for the pure absurdity of the film. The frenetic editing, out of control pacing, and those freaking GOOGLE Maps set this movie apart from anything you've ever seen. The groundbreaking style of Neveldine/Taylor and the standard dedication from ass kicker Jason Stathom make this movie something to laugh at when you first watch it, but something to marvel the second time you see it...and the third...and the fourth....

EVIL DEAD 2: This horror classic is a classic for a reason. 10 years, 15 years, and now almost 20 years later, it's still just as bad ass as it was. Bruce Campbell, one of the godfather's of ass kicking, is a tour-de-force in, what else, ass kicking. The man's hand becomes posessed, so what does he do? He cuts it off with a chainsaw, then attaches that same chainsaw to his bloody stump. To this day, no one has topped Evil Dead 2's unique brand of horror, comedy, action, and creativity. And while you may not be a fan of the film, you must recognize that Ash is definitely one of the most unique heroes in movie history.

ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK: This movie invented a new type of cool. It's based in a world full of horrible criminals and only one man is bad enough to take them on...Snake Pliskin. Snake is SO cool you can't even really describe him. Maybe it's the voice. I don't know if he was the first ass kicker to talk with a really cool, raspy voice, but he sure did popularize it. This guy is so cool, Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series is pretty much based on him...and that's pretty bad ass in and of itself. It's too bad Escape from LA wasn't as special as the first, because Snake deserves a better send off. Here's to hoping Kurt and John have one more left in them. Because as Taken has proved, ass kicking is like a fine wine and gets better with age.